Independence Day & Breast Bucket List

I have one week before I say farewell to my two old and dear friends.  I’m getting anxious and a little crazy, and trying to make the most of this week.  This weekend, I was overwhelmed with a sense of needing to create a bucket list for my breasts.  Here is the list I came up with so far:

  • Win a wet t-shirt contest – I will put on a white t-shirt, have my husband spray me with the garden hose in the back yard, and then declare me the winner since I’m the only contestant.
  • Topless Sunbathing – I am very very white, so I will need to use SPF 30.  I will probably only last 10 minutes because it’s 104 degrees outside, and there are too many mosquitoes.  I don’t think I’ll miss this one much, and I bet it’ll be much more fun once I have fake boobs.
  • Artistic Nude Self Portrait – Photographing myself in all my naked glory gives me the heebie jeebies…and so does talking about photographing myself naked on the internet.  Which is why I think I should do it….so that I have something to remember them by.  I guess this means I will never run for public office.
  • Motorboating  – Plan to get it out of my system this week.  Anyone want a motorboat?
  • A Patriotic 4th of July Salute to My Breasts – My personal favorite.  I always loved getting my face painted on the 4th of July…so I thought of paint my breasts red white and blue while we watch fireworks to the tune of Stars and Stripes Forever.  But then again, this seems a bit grandiose!

If you have any other non-pornographic suggestions, please send them to me, and I will add to the list.  I may or may not post pictures.  The more I get these ridiculous ideas out of my system, the more I realize I really won’t miss them…that much.

Happy 4th of July Week!  Happy soon-to-be-independence from my breasts!